Disabilities or Different Abilities

October 16, 2020 By Melinda Olivas Leave a Comment

Disabilities OR Different Abilities: The Effects of Positive Language

By: Sarah Olson

What is Language? The dictionary defines it as:

1. the method of human communication, either spoken or written, consisting of the use of words in a structured and conventional way.

2. a system of communication used by a particular country or community.

Language binds us all as humans, yet it separates us simultaneously. It comes in so many different forms, such as dialects, verbal, non-verbal, visual, sign, and body language. It is the MOST powerful form of communication the human race has ever developed.

Have you ever been in a situation having to explain what you do for work and use a generic sentence? It never occurred to me how much I was like everyone else in my field before my experience. When asked, I would reply, “I support individuals with disabilities,” a common phrase for people who work in this field. I had fallen victim to “normal.” What I DIDN’T realize is that my brain had secretly decided it had enough. Unbeknownst to me, it was planning to pull an “autocorrect” at the perfect moment. It was plotting a change to my vocabulary that I was NOT expecting.

You may be wondering where I am going with this article. I will tell you because the experience caught me off guard and humbled me at the same time. It left me bewildered, pondering, and with a new sense of appreciation for words. It has allowed me to witness the power of language, first-hand, on a typical Friday night.

Unforgettable Encounter

One evening about a month ago, I gave a ride to a Lyft passenger (we’ll call him Jim). I picked Jim up from the airport to take to his hotel. He was in town for a business trip, and a newcomer to Roswell, we started to make small talk on the 20-minute ride to his destination. I briefly began to tell Jim about what I do for employment. I explained that I work for a wonderful non-profit that supports individuals of different abilities in various areas of their lives. We give them the chance to live as independently as possible.

At that moment, as I finished my sentence, I silently thought to myself, where did THAT come from, different Abilities?! I couldn’t figure it out. As someone who advocates daily for the individuals we support, I have become accustomed to the common phrase “I support individuals with disabilities.” As my brain spontaneously shifted directions, it was then; I realized that this was a powerful transformation of language that was about to make a significant impact in this man’s life who I had just picked up five minutes prior.

Seeing Abilities Not Disabilities

Jim was astounded at my choice of words “different abilities” instead of “disabilities.” This allowed him to open up about his son, who was born with a disability. The struggles to advocate and support his son to be accepted into the community because of a stigma that “people with disabilities” endure all their lives. Jim stated he wants his son to be recognized and appreciated for his “abilities,” not his “disability.” With the simple change of words, “individuals with different abilities,” Jim broke down and cried. He told me that his son’s favorite characters are Superheroes; then, I CRIED because of the revelation. We talked about how Superheroes all have “different abilities,” just like his son and the individuals I support. Jim was silent and in awe. He had never had someone who understands what he is advocating for before.

End of One Ride, Start of Another

Shortly after, we arrived at his destination, and he said he wished he could hug me because of the conversation and experience we just had. Instead, I encouraged him to continue to advocate for his son and use positive, powerful language that shines a light on everything his son CAN do and not the things his son CAN’T do.

I have been driving for Lyft in Roswell for a year and a half. I never had such a humble life-changing conversation (and I have had many discussions) or encounter on a ride. As I left my passenger at his destination and pulled over to process what had just happened. It made me realize just how powerful the right set of words can be. It can be the difference between positive & negative, good & bad. And in some instances, completely change someone’s outlook on life for the better.

Now every time I want to say, “I support individuals with disabilities,” my brain automatically changes it to “I support individuals with different abilities.” I will never use the other phrase again because of the powerful and positive impact on those around me.

I encourage you to try it. Make a positive change in your vocabulary when talking to others around you. It just might surprise not only you but others as well.

We Are Tobosa

Finding My Purpose

October 14, 2020 By Melinda Olivas 1 Comment

Finding My Purpose and What it Means to Me

By: Jacob DiCello

Has anyone ever asked you what your purpose in life is? Perhaps, like many of you, being caught off guard with a question like that made me freeze up. I did not have a good answer. As a matter of fact, I did not have an answer at all. For those of you that know me, you are well aware that it is rare for me to have no answer at all. This question hit me like a ton of bricks in a meeting amongst my peers when Rosy flat out asked me, “What is your purpose in life?”

As this uneasy, timid, mind-boggling feeling came over me, I thought to myself, how dare she put me on the spot like this?! I felt distressed as my mind raced. I fretted over silly things like, what the heck is my purpose in life? Do I even have a purpose in life? What if I discover my purpose in life, and it’s lame? When I do realize my purpose in life, then what’s next? Will my life be over or possibly worse; am I going to be forced out of my “ignorance-is-bliss” comfort zone? [If you are freaking out as I did, it’s ok; inhale quietly through your nose for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 8 seconds and repeat. Once that is done, please keep reading.]

What happens next?

Since that time, I have attended an 8-hour class on finding my purpose in life, but I have been fortunate enough to be invited to assist Sara in teaching the course and have spent many hours pondering and researching my purpose. Now I have been asked to write an article about finding one’s purpose in life and what it means to me. I have recently been working on finding my purpose and helping others find their purpose. By encouraging others to support their peers in finding their purpose, I have realized that finding one’s purpose in life is not scary, difficult, or mind crippling. It does not cause uneasiness or timidness. Finding my purpose in life has three special meanings to me.

First of all, it means living my best life by identifying my special gift(s) and stopping at nothing to share it/them with the world. Secondly, it means connecting with others by recognizing and drawing out the gifts that they possess and appreciating and applauding them for sharing those gifts with me. Tertiarily, it’s simply a fun, neat, diverse, ever-evolving, mind-opening, feel-good adventure.

We should be proud to work for an organization that cares enough about its family to use its resources to seek each associated person’s purpose in life. How awesome is that!? Tobosa is not solely asking as a fleeting fancy, but instead demanding that we all give 110 percent effort in this endeavor, not only for ourselves but also for those around us. Before you are put on the spot, I encourage everyone to ask yourself, “What is my purpose in life?” (If you are associated with Tobosa, prepare yourself, I guarantee this question is in your near future).

Do not be alarmed if you can not answer right away.

Ponder it; ask those around you. You may be quite surprised at what they see. Sometimes we do things blindly and project them without even realizing it ourselves, and it takes another person to recognize those gifts you have to offer. Now enough with the small talk people, vamonos, I have a gift to share, and so do you!

Join Our Team, Find Your Purpose!

Giving AcCREDITation Where AcCREDITation is Due

August 14, 2020 By Melinda Olivas Leave a Comment

Giving AcCREDITation Where AcCREDITation is Due

By: Felicia Juarez

Let me set the stage. A few months ago, reading through hundreds of emails on a regular day, I came across one from the NMCCEA promoting a conference to accredit Directors of learning centers nationally. I think to myself this is great; let me call Rosy! The trip gets approved, and Rosy asks me to invite Michelle Pruitt, Director of Little Steps Learning Center, and I’m glad for the suggestion. Michelle is ecstatic about this opportunity! Time to start marking off the checklist:

Registration
Hotel Reservations
Per Diem
Car Rental

We got set, and the day finally comes to leave for Albuquerque for a week. After our goodbyes to our loved ones, Michelle and I hit the road, arriving in Albuquerque on a Sunday evening.

While driving up, we discussed the fact that NO agenda was sent out, NO list of materials needed, NO informative emails, we have NO idea what to expect. We are going in blind and hoping for the best! On the first day of class, we meet our instructor, our classmates, and our FATE! Our instructor informs us that this class is NO JOKE! An accelerated 45-hour course in 1 week with 2.5 to 3 chapters per day, tests after each one, and homework every night. We will be studying the book from cover to cover. As I peruse this beast, I realize it is 328 pages deep, but first, we begin by taking our “pre-quiz” NOW, which is three pages long! She tells us to do our best and that she does not expect anything spectacular from us, to begin with, because this test is essentially the final and so we may not know much.

So, we take the test, and at the end of a very rough first day, an assistant comes in and grades the quizzes. As they hand them back, our instructor tells us, “You did okay” and that the highest class score is 67%. I look around as heads begin hanging, and I get anxious as I wait to get my test back. I mean, there are some pretty distinguished people in the room, and their confidence appeared to be deflating quickly. I get mine back, and I see it, it’s a 67% on MY test!

**My feeling of achievement went from 100 to 0 real quick**

I immediately turned into a cheerleader [for myself] inside, but I keep it cool. All of a sudden, the assistant pipes up and says, “No wait, the highest score is 71%.” I imagine myself as an airplane shot out of the sky. I looked across to the next table, and there they were, my fellow classmate and employee, Michelle, with her face lighting up like a lighthouse amidst a tsunami, SHE BEAT ME! AAAGH! She got the highest score. Now in my head, it’s on-n-crackin’! Challenge accepted! Let the games begin! At that moment, I quickly discovered we BOTH had that competitive edge.

Classes were intense, homework even more so. As we sat across from each other at our Airbnb with our laptop keyboards clacking away at Mach speed, we asked subtle questions here and there, but kept our brilliance to ourselves. Evenings turned into mornings (especially for me), and the slight eye squints shot back and forth as one would finish before the other each day. Every day, test results came back. I got 100%, ugh, she did too! We would both work so hard on our homework and the results? A checkmark to acknowledge our completion, we’re getting through it, surviving, and succeeding. The information was AMAZING. We began priding ourselves on how much we were learning, how excellent this class was, and even though it was tough, it was GREAT!

Then at the finish line, we began discussing Leadership and Advocacy. That chapter tied it up and brought it home for me. Our instructor threw around phrases like,

"Sometimes you win, sometimes you learn"

 "Teamwork: coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, but working together is a success"

and one of my favorites,

 "Leave a legacy of relationships that can never wash away"

We spoke about being a Leader versus a Manager. We talked about people who love their jobs and will stay, even if the competition offers more pay. We discussed creating an environment that promotes creativity, growth, and happiness. And we also conversed about “building up” those who work for you.

I looked over at Michelle and thought this is what has happened. You see, the initial competitiveness, I believe, stemmed from just wanting to be better and to be the best. Somehow, it morphed into an appreciation for each other and recognizing each other’s strengths and what was in our own personal wheelhouse. At that moment, I thought to myself, Hell yeah (excuse my French), I want her to be better than me! I want everyone to want to be better than me. I want them to appreciate the foundation I helped to build and me, but be better than me! Because when my time is fulfilled, I want the next person to be able to carry on, pick up where I left off, AND BE BRILLIANT! How can that happen if I do not provide them the tools NOW?!

I “zoomed out” of that image immediately and began visualizing the bigger picture around me. WHO and WHAT I allow to surround myself. I realized that I loved the fact that I have so many people in my corner to push me to be better: my partner, boss, and colleagues. I thrive on that and want to be “that person” to others! Walking out of class that day was like an “exhale” moment for me. I felt rejuvenated with a fresh breath of air, and I was grateful. I knew I was bringing all of it back with me.

Needless to say, both Michelle and I passed the class with flying colors. We are now Nationally Accredited Directors, and it feels AWESOME to get to this point! We earned it by working hard, and the experience that came with all of this is invaluable!

**We did it!**
*(Felicia, back row with the red mask / Michelle, front & center with the plaid shirt)*

And what is that you just asked? Did she ever get a higher score than me again? I reluctantly admit, yes. I missed a question on a quiz that she got correct and as she tried to hold back the big smile, I shook my head and sat in bewilderment *chuckle.* All 5’1” of her beat me twice. Good for her, good for all of us!

Don’t let my sense of rejuvenation fade:

Support Our Children’s Campus

A DSP’s View During COVID-19

June 29, 2020 By Melinda Olivas 10 Comments

The Daily Life & Views of a DSP During COVID-19

By: Sarah Olson

A DSP, Direct Support Professional, to some, is a pretty confusing or unknown position. For the chosen few, it is the most humbling and life-changing work you can do. We are more than just people who provide care for individuals with developmental disabilities. We are teachers, mentors, entertainers, friends, a supportive hand, a listening ear, and to some individuals,

Speaking of family, this is mine right here: Cricket, Crimson & Clover (yes, like the song).

Every day I get to come home to these sweet little faces. They are entirely spoiled, all under the age of two and a half, and are full of energy and sweetness. They rely on me for meals, care, snuggles, and playtime. The unconditional love they show me is my daily reminder of just how peaceful, simple, and quiet life can be. Nothing beats curling up with my girls to relax and watch a movie after a challenging day full of different things I did at work. Those things include many different roles that I must take on as a DSP.

During COVID-19, our roles as Direct Support Professionals expanded. We have taken on new tasks and have developed skills that we may not have deemed necessary six months ago. For example, we have become barbers, manicurists, seamstresses, landscapers/gardeners. Also, unexpected animals show up that we now need to learn and teach the individuals how to care for them.

Our new mantra is “think outside the box” for activities that will provide joy and happiness to the individuals we support. Who knew a ride through the car wash or an in-home game of BINGO could bring such pleasure. Many of us are accustomed to taking individuals out shopping. But since quarantine, our abilities have expanded to get what they need or want online. For example, Joe’s new chair, or Lawrence’s new shoes. Not items we would typically buy online, as they lose their sense of feel and comfort.

Like many other essential workers, the duties of a DSP calls for balance, preparation, and sacrifice. Often, we are at work celebrating an individual’s birthday, a holiday, or planning activities on any given weekday. We are away from our families and may miss important moments with them. But knowing that we are making special, happy, meaningful memories with the individuals we are supporting is one of the most important things we can do as a DSP. Recently, the houses all celebrated Memorial Day with cookouts, dancing, and lots of yummy food!

Pictured below: Sherrill Lane & Riverside homes cooking out:

We have even had to change the way we celebrate birthdays. Instead of hanging with friends & family and partying like rockstars, we throw surprise parades!

The best one so far was for Mr. Martin Eudy. He had NO idea it was happening. It was a magical moment to celebrate Martin!

The Roswell community came together in such a powerful and enjoyable way. Police, Fire, Disaster Relief, even other Tobosa homes and a lot of our employees joined in on the fun.

Martin was blessed with a parade filled with all of his favorite things. Friends, family, fire trucks, police cars, and of course, presents! Just look at the smile on his face.

Sadly, not everything is all cake and ice cream with sprinkles and hot fudge. As DSPs, we have to find ways to explain COVID-19 and quarantine, so that the individuals will understand. Seeing their disappointment when they can’t go to the movies, shopping, on road trips, or even out to eat has been very hard. For one of the individuals I support, it has been a challenge to explain to her why she isn’t able to visit her mother. In that past, she would visit her mother at Mission Arch a few hours a day. She does to talk to her mom on the phone, but I know she misses her and asks when she can visit her mother again daily. It breaks my heart to tell her it isn’t safe to go. She understands, but I can see in her face and body language that she is not happy.

Still, there are many positive sides to being in the homes with the individuals all day. These include teaching baking/cooking skills, watching them enjoy their favorite chair, getting plenty of exercises in, or even discovering their inner Pablo Picasso!

Speaking of Picasso, what better way to show our strength and unity not only within our Tobosa family but as a whole community? Sherrill Lane took advantage of the downtime to decorate their windows and then challenge other houses, creating the Inspirational Window Challenge! They called out the La Paloma house, and it continued from there. What fun it was to see all the amazing ideas and inspirational windows that the homes created!

COVID-19 has allowed us to slow down, relax, and enjoy things that we may have taken for granted. During this pandemic, there are ever-changing rules, policies, and guidelines set forth by our country, state, and local government. Together, we need to take it all in stride. There is a saying I hear a lot on the radio, that is, “this too shall pass.” We will get through this together. And when it is all over, there better be one heck of a party!

Creator: TomasSimkus | Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

What Once Was Will Be Again

June 19, 2020 By Melinda Olivas 2 Comments

What Once Was Will Be Again

By: Melinda Olivas

Another blog about COVID-19 and its effects, you ask? Well, it does play a significant role in the lives of people around the world. Here we go; I’m going to take you back to the time of Tobosa’s final gatherings before the quarantine, and social restrictions were put into place.

Let’s start in February, the month of love. Our CEO, Rosy, had recently watched the film “The Peanut Butter Falcon.”

Without giving too much away, the movie is a modern Mark Twain adventure, where a young man, Zak, with Down syndrome runs away from an assisted living facility. He meets a wayward fisherman (also on the run), and the two share a memorable journey to achieve Zak’s dream of becoming a professional wrestler. If you haven’t watched it, I recommend you add it to your list! This movie will have you laughing while pulling at your heartstrings.

Inspired by the storyline and how it went hand-in-hand with our mission, Rosy wanted to invigorate the workforce of our organization; we decided to have a movie screening! We set up our Training Center as a theater, and people brought snacks to munch on, it was a success even with the few stragglers that came in after the show started (haha). The screening took place on the morning of Valentine’s Day; of course, we couldn’t let the day end without a party. That’s not how we roll! Everyone was to meet at the Roswell Adult Center for a Valentine Celebration with food and dancing. It had been a minute since we got our boogie on, but all who attended had a blast! People were socializing, filling their bellies, taking photos, and grooving to the beats by DJ GC (aka Andrew Garza). Thinking about it now gives me chills, who knew those moments would be some of the last that our Tobosa family would be able to get together.

Rounding out the month of February, we had two more events; I’ll begin with our 3rd Leap Year Time Capsule. It all started (hold on, let me do some mental calculation) oh yeah, eight years ago with Tobosa’s first burial of a leap year time capsule in 2012. We asked the employees and individuals of Tobosa to bring in items that were personal, sentimental, or just something they thought might be obsolete in the next four years. We’ve been digging up memories and burying the soon-to-be past every leap year that followed. This year’s dig up, however, was quite an experience.

First of all, for some reason, we had a hard time figuring out if we had even buried one during the last leap year. We would go back and forth amongst each other, saying, “yes, I think we did” or “no, no, I’m sure we didn’t.” Once it was determined we did bury one, we had to remember exactly where we hid the little sucker. Luckily we came across some photos (those factored in the conclusion we had buried one) that showed us where we hid the capsule. Finding the hidden treasure was an adventure because our “X” did not mark the spot; after four years, it had disappeared (go figure).

On the day of the unveiling, a few of us went out early to see if we could find the exact place. I don’t want to toot our own horn, but I will, with some Tobosa ingenuity, we found it on our first try. No surprise, we’re awesome like that! We covered it back up enough so no one would notice, but not too much so that it wouldn’t cause another struggle. It’s always amazing to see what comes out of that capsule, but this time there were notable items from some outstanding people we had lost over the past four years. There were tears of joy remembering those sweet souls.

Now we wait, 2024 we’ll see you soon!

During a month, people rejoice love and kindness; there is no better time to host our 2nd Annual Providers Appreciation Luncheon.

Some might be thrown off by the word “providers,” this event is to honor and thank people and businesses in our community who have shown their support to our organization. The event was held again at The Fraternal Order of Eagles, and with more time to plan, the decorations were superb thanks to Veronica! Portofino catered a delectable lunch, and the speakers did an excellent job expressing their appreciation to our guests.

Whether it’s Tobosa’s adult services or our children’s services through Little Steps Learning Center & Los Pasitos Early Intervention, people show up and step up! As a non-profit organization, we don’t always have the leisure to thank our supporters year-round; nonetheless, we will continually make an effort to show our gratitude whenever possible. Overall, it was a lovely event, and we look forward to thanking, entertaining, and recognizing more of our supporters in the future.

Zoo Day was the last event put on by Los Pasitos and Little Steps in March. Now, this happened to fall on Friday the 13th; I’ll let you decide if the superstition that this day is unlucky holds any truth. An invitation was open to families, children, and adults who are supported and receive services throughout Tobosa. Plans were set, and everyone was to enjoy personal tours, animal presentations, and pizza! Nobody was sure how many people would be in attendance because this was the Friday before Spring Break and the outset of COVID-19 in our state. There was still a lot of confusion about the virus, and we were in the early stage where people were advised about social distancing.

Not to mention, the few days prior, the weather had been in the upper 70s, but this day we woke up to 60 something degrees, clouds, wind, and rain. This was not the business for an outside event, but we all know how unpredictable NM weather can be.

We stayed optimistic and did not cancel, and as you may have guessed, the turnout was not what we had hoped. Unbeknownst to all the end had come, that would be our final gathering.

Here we are, three months later. We’ve had to cancel our annual events like the EI Easter party, Adopt-A-Highway clean-up, Stepping Out for Children, Summer Bash, and possibly our Tobosa Classic golf tournament. Sure, we were able to Zoom our Overall Staff Meeting and the Friendship Visit with Journey of Hope (The Ability Experience), but it’s not the same. You can see, but you can’t feel the joy and excitement of others that are sharing that specific moment with you. You can’t capture the memories with photos with the people who mean the most to you. Yes, one day, all the orders will be lifted entirely, and people will be allowed to congregate again, but will it be like old times? Will people be hesitant to slap you a congratulatory high-five for air mailing all four bags in a cornhole game? (By the way that is some of the entertainment we have at our Summer Bash) Only time will tell, but I do hope we can all return to normal, whatever that normal was to you pre COVID-19. I know I’m counting down the days not only to get back to the office but also to be able to catch up on some quality time with my Tobosa family & friends!

Until then, be safe, be healthy, be kind!

Essential Daycare

June 16, 2020 By Melinda Olivas 2 Comments

Essential Daycare

By: Michelle Pruitt

When it comes to daycare, we are essential. We serve the community to offer childcare to parents who are deemed, essential workers. During this crazed time of COVID-19, the doors of Little Steps Learning Center has remained open to help those families and to provide childcare for others in the community who, before, may not have needed assistance.

Somedays, before COVID-19, my staff would dream of nice quiet and slow-paced days without a lot of commotion. Then COVID-19 hit, it was almost surreal walking into Little Steps. We lost a few staff who decided it would be best health-wise for them and their family to stay home during the uncertainty. Day in and day out, we would come to the center with high hopes and pray that we would get to see some of our kiddos. We went about six weeks with only having a few kids in the mornings. Until something like this happens, you do not realize the impact of going from a classroom of 10-15 per day to having only one or two kids per class and what it does to your spirits. It is like walking into an amusement park and expecting to see all the lights, kids smiling faces, and laughter to only a few kids, and nothing is open.

We are thankful to continue to have the opportunity to work because there were so many people in our community who were not able to keep their jobs during this time. I would personally stay until noon or 1:00 p.m. each day and lock up, which is not something I usually do. Walking through the classrooms, envisioning the children who used to occupy them and their sweet voices made it that much harder. As the months have passed, more and more kids continue to show up weekly. We follow regulations that the state has set for the health and safety of our children, families, and daycare workers. Things are still uncertain in some areas, but we are getting back to a new normal. Our kiddos, ages three and up, wear masks and do a great job of keeping them on. Surprisingly, our three-year-olds do the best!

Our teachers are finally getting back into a routine with their days, and we love seeing more kiddos return. Unfortunately, our summer will look a lot different this year due to not being able to go to the free movies every week, splash pad, or local pool. Thankfully we have some creative teachers coming up with ideas to keep the kiddos entertained. Every class is still having a water day once or twice a week and finding fun hose attachments for the kids to play in.

We have scheduled our own movie days in the classrooms with popcorn, snacks, and juices. Even though COVID-19 has reshaped our daily activities & routine, we are all doing our best to make sure our kiddos have a great summer!

We continue to do our part with social distancing, wearing masks, washing hands, and sanitizing. During these unpredictable times, we are thankful to be able to continue to serve the Roswell community and its essential workers.

Support Our Teachers & Kiddos of Little Steps
During COVID-19

Division of Tobosa Developmental Services We are a non-profit agency.

Grand Central Tobosa Station

June 3, 2020 By Melinda Olivas 2 Comments

Grand Central Tobosa Station

By: Jacob Dicello

Grand Central Terminal in New York City. Photo: Courtesy of Grand Central Terminal

You remember. We all took for granted some things that, pre-COVID-19, were so common that we did not even consider them. Remember when? We moved into the new Tobosa administration office, bumping into one another in the hallway and politely saying, “Oh, I’m sorry, excuse me,” and then as soon as we passed thinking to ourselves, Get outta my way, Jerk! Remember when? The new office was like Grand Central Station. Remember when? You could always walk into the Tobosa office and find papers flying, phones buzzing, copiers whooshing, chatter, and laughter? As a matter of fact, my desk was the first thing you saw when you walked into the office. I had a front-row seat for all the action. Everyone, from the CEO to random people off the street, thinking they were going to get an eye exam, came flying in those doors. I could not take more than two or three steps before running into someone, and the restroom was always occupied when I needed it the most. I heard every emotion capable of audibility daily; anger, laughter, frustration, love, indifference, and fear, to name a few. Sometimes I thought to myself:

How can they expect me to get any work done around here with all these distractions?

Then pfffft…just like that, all the commotion was gone. One day my supervisor, Jessica, met with me and said, “Take your computers, your desk, and your stationery and go work from home. We will let you know when you can come back.” Finally, my dream had come true (or so I thought). I get paid to stay at home and work. I get to stay in my PJ’s all day. The peace and quiet that I thought I craved had finally become a reality. I thought to myself; I get to hang out with my little dog, Abraxas, all day long. She is going to be so happy. Things had finally turned in my favor, and life was great. I replied to Jessica by saying, “see ya!” Then, the work from home began.

Abraxas
Home Office
Unexpected Guest: Pink Floyd

I will start with Abraxas, my dog. Even though now I am home and Abraxas can go outside anytime, she still sleeps all day, except every 30 minutes when she wakes up to bark at me until I give her a treat. It is a constant battle. I find myself saying over and over, “No, no more treats, go outside!“. That warm and fuzzy feeling you are supposed to obtain from a small dog is not something she readily provides during this time. Now that I am home all day, she does not care. I am just an annoyance to her. So out the window goes the puppy love. That is ok. We are adjusting, but I still get to work from my home without all the distractions, right?

Well…

I often find myself staring blankly at my computer screen. There is no laughter, chatter, anger, frustration, phones buzzing, papers flying, or copiers whooshing, and I never run into anyone in the hallway. It’s just me and my computer screen. Distractions I once felt were a thorn in my side are replaced by the disturbance of loneliness in my head. The occupied restroom is replaced by both of my toilets having plumbing issues because I am here all day using them. Until I can get a plumber over here, I have to turn the water switch off to the toilet after each usage. Great! (I hope you can sense the sarcasm in my tone because I am laying it on pretty thick.) In an unexpected twist, a funny thing went through my head the other day, I actually asked myself:

How can they expect me to get any work done without all the distractions at the office?

Oh my goodness, it finally happened! I had become accustomed to the hustle and bustle of Grand Central Tobosa Station. You know, like when you can’t get your workday started without that cup of coffee. The activity and noise at the office had become the caffeine for my workday.

As we entered into 2020, Jessica Dunn, Director of Program Supports, wrote an article called “Rolling into a New Location in the New Decade”. In it, she wrote about her feelings of “separation and being away from family for a few months” when describing our recent move of offices, specifically when the Nursing department and Team Coordinators were separated from the Tobosa Administration for the first time in its’ history. A distance of 0.9 miles divided the departments at that time, but the social distancing restrictions were not in effect that we are enduring today. In comparing the two situations, if Jessica felt so disconsolate when our offices were separated by a mere 0.9 miles, I can only imagine the feelings of detachment Jessica is experiencing now. I wonder how others are dealing with it?

Inspirational Window Challenge: Teams at Deborah, Cedar, Sherrill Ln.

“Once You Choose Hope, Anything’s Possible”
“Count Your Blessings”
“We Are All In This Together”

Please do not get me wrong. I am proud of the fact that Tobosa is adhering to the social distancing restrictions very seriously. I was teaching a MANDT recertification class the same day most of us received the sobering news that our lives would turn inside out. Rosy, Tobosa CEO, and Dori, the HR Director, were in my class, and we knew our lives would drastically change due to the Coronavirus quarantine. The news stopped us in our tracks, and, as a group, we discussed it. Of course, with my tendency to open mouth and insert foot, I looked right at Rosy and asked the toughest question of all, “What are you going to do with Tobosa?“ right in front of the whole class. I may as well have turned the heater up to 90 degrees and put a spotlight on her. Now, for anyone that knows Rosy, you know that she is always under control and, even if she is sweating it out she doesn’t show it, but this was a whole new level of distress for the leaders of organizations and, to quote George Strait, it came “Out of the blue, clear sky.” Many questions, very few answers and the need to act quickly is a tough combination. Rosy looked up at me, and although her facial expression was facetiously saying, Thanks, Jake, for putting me on the hot seat, she gave the most real and honest answer she could give, “I don’t know.” True to form, though, she figured it out and acted quickly. Rosy and her team of Directors made tough decisions, decisions that I would later be thankful for, and stood firm in the face of adversity. This adversity has also made me realize that we have some brilliant and dedicated Directors at Tobosa, and we also have Carlos (Sorry Carlos, I couldn’t resist that one). Tobosa was ahead of the curve to help flatten it. I may be lonely, and a little stir-crazy working from home with this social distancing, but it is much better than the restrictions that a major health issue would pose. Safety is always the first concern that the leaders of Tobosa have in mind. For that, I feel grateful and will gladly do my part to help keep everyone safe.

As I was praising the Tobosa leadership, I noticed an even mightier group in the Tobosa family: its workforce on the front lines. Let’s face it, as much as COVID-19 and its restrictions have changed my work life; I was told to stay home, away from danger. How brave am I? Not hardly. I just retreated to safety. Our Tobosa staff who are responsible for working directly with the kiddos and individuals that we support did not receive a cozy proposition to stay home and work. They are the brave ones. How scary it must be for those who are needed and asked to continue putting themselves in the line of fire.

Little Steps Learning Center
Los Pasitos Early Intervention

When the news first broke, I was afraid, if I were asked to keep going to work with people directly, I would have stomped my feet and cried, but not the frontline workers. They know who they are. They rose in the face of this adversity and kept on directly supporting. We all like to say we are dedicated to the individuals, children, and families that we support. Still, every once in a while, a situation arises where the real Superheroes must rise when the rest of us shrink back to security. To those of you who continue to rise and step forward,

As if one twist in this journey wasn’t enough, I am going to present another. I have observed that the very thing that pushed us all away from each other, physically, has become the thing that has bonded us tighter, mentally, and emotionally. We have learned many different ways to accomplish our goals and duties, even when a standard approach is no longer an option. Sometimes, we face adversity because we need to change. At times, adversity forces us to dig deep and find a new way, but the new way is often better. When I look around Tobosa as a whole, I am very proud of how we all have adjusted. What I learned about myself, and the rest of the Tobosa family is that we are dedicated to Tobosa and its mission.

We empower people with developmental delays or disabilities, and their families, to independently fulfill their life goals and dreams.

Whether we are in Grand Central Tobosa Station, at home alone, in one of the residences, in the classroom or any other setting, we are going to adapt and do whatever we need to do to support each other. We prove, daily, that we will overcome anything, even an invisible, airborne foe. After all, we have Superheroes among us.

Support Our Superheroes!

Biking for a Purpose

May 4, 2020 By Melinda Olivas Leave a Comment

Biking for a Purpose

By: Rosy Rubio

New Year’s resolutions!!! Usually, I take some time to consider a resolution seriously. 2020 was no different. This year I took more time doing some soul searching and created more unanswered questions in my life than I should have.

A little bit of how this happened:

Over the holidays, I visited with a nephew in Oklahoma City. We engaged in a pretty heated discussion regarding family obligations and the different roles my siblings and I hold in caring for my elderly parents. During the conversation, I very strongly declared that my role was to be the primary caregiver of my parents because it was easier for me with no spouse or children to care for. I continued that my siblings had their roles as parents, grandparents, etc. Their purpose in life was different due to their circumstances.

Following this conversation, my younger sister committed to riding her bike from Las Cruces to Santa Fe before the 2020 Legislative session. Her route brought her through Roswell. I committed to riding with her the 96 miles to Vaughn, NM. As I prepared for this huge endeavor, I started thinking about what the purpose was for my sister to do this. I concluded that her purpose in life, at this moment, was to care for the population of New Mexico in her role as a House Representative. Her bicycle ride was purposely connecting her to communities, their struggles, and challenges. She would need these connections to make quality decisions for all New Mexicans during the 2020 Legislative session.

With this in mind, on January 15, I joined my sister, Angelica, on her trek to Vaughn, NM. It was a brutal ride! Thanks to a higher power, my bike got a flat at 35 miles, and I was not able to continue. What a relief!!! However, during the 35 miles of riding, all you can do is think and think some more. I started to think about the purpose of the lives of those around me. I thought of my purpose in life. This is very difficult to do and identify. I have not fully defined what my purpose in life is really. It changes from time to time. One purpose, as mentioned earlier, is to be my parents’ caregiver. I also feel a purpose in continuing to support and lead Tobosa and its mission.

During the holidays, I watched a movie, “Peanut Butter Falcon.” Excellent movie that totally relates to this entire thought process of having a purpose in life. Zac’s purpose in life is to become a professional wrestler, and he seeks this on a daily basis. This led me to think about the individuals we support at Tobosa daily and what their purpose in life is. Do they have a purpose in life? Maybe they do. Perhaps they have one and do not know it. Maybe they don’t have a purpose in life and are not seeking one. But I genuinely believe that they do not have a purpose in life.

During my bike ride to Vaughn, I thought a lot that our goal at Tobosa should be to help find opportunities for the individuals we support to find their purpose in life. Surely they have more to offer of themselves, and to society, than to experience activities meaningless to them only to assure Tobosa meets standards and regulations.

Our Mission

We empower people with developmental delays or disabilities, and their families, to independently fulfill their life goals and dreams.

It is our duty and responsibility to aid them in finding their purpose and live meaningful lives. So… CHALLENGE ACCEPTED! 2020 will be the focus of this challenging endeavor for Tobosa. Because not only do we need to help individuals find their purpose, we also must help our workforce find their purpose in life. If we are not clear of our purpose, how can we help others find theirs?

As Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in life are the day you were born and the day you find out why”!!! We all have a purpose in life…let’s find out what that is and live it!

So is it Working? T.E.A.C.H.

April 17, 2020 By Melinda Olivas 5 Comments

So is it Working? T.E.A.C.H.

By: Jacob Dicello

If you read my last blog, no wait, let me rephrase that, “you darn sure better have read my last blog!” You may remember that I was concerned about the perception of the individuals that we support at Tobosa. Tobosa, and its consumers, are no doubt misrepresented in some peoples’ minds. I want to climb a mountain top with a megaphone and correct the misperception all at once! I want instant gratification. I want the individuals that we serve to get their proper due and be viewed as they deserve to be seen. And I want it NOW! But, such is life and I have to take a deep breath, calm down and face the reality that this may never change. Just as I was at exasperation’s end, I attended a meeting directed by Tobosa’s C.E.O., Rosy Rubio; she went on to admonish that we are now in full T.E.A.C.H. mode. Acrostically, this represents:

The point of this is that we have to focus on change by teaching. This happens one day at a time, one opportunity at a time. Real change, if it is to adhere, takes time and effort. I took it to heart and told myself, “if Rosy believes in it, then I will too.”

So…is it working? Are we getting anywhere? Is the perception of Tobosa-supported individuals changing?

Case Study: My Father

My dad is a great man with many exceptional qualities, and I look up to him like no other. As you will see, he is also very frustrating, hard-headed, and old fashioned. Well, he had the same perceptions of the individuals that we support that I did when I obtained employment with Tobosa a little over a year ago. We would discuss my new job, and I would turn bright red and correct him through closed, gnashed teeth when he used statements like “those kinds of people” or “that autistic guy you all take care of.” The most cringe-worthy and my least favorite of these was when he would refer to “them” as “slow.” If I was not guilty of these same mistakes before I became educated about these wonderful individuals, I might have blown a gasket every time I spoke to my father about my job. “No”, I said to myself, “I’m not going to let it bother me, this is just an opportunity to change that perception”. So off to work I went on the Old Man’s brain.

To give you some context, I changed his perception of a subject ONCE and that was after we were stranded on the highway because he swore we had enough gas to get to the next town. In the mule dictionary, the word “stubborn” has a picture of my father next to it. I would correct him at every turn and I would stop him every time he made an insensitive comment. I got mad. I tried being diplomatic, using positive reinforcement, negative reinforcement, the silent treatment. I just, for once, wanted him to refer to one of the individuals we support by name and not by their disability or worse. I used their names over and over, pounded their names into his skull! I got nowhere. How can I help change a mass perception when I can’t even get my own father to listen to me? Then, the magic happened.

As we were “shootin’ the bull” at a local restaurant one day, an old acquaintance walked up to our table. I call him an acquaintance because I don’t want to get inappropriate here. [If you truly want to know what I call him come see me.] He asks where I am working these days and I tell him Tobosa. He gets this “shit-eatin’ grin” on his face and gives the obligatory “you really fit in with those people” jokes. You know, the standard lame-brained wisecracks. I stayed calm, but I was dying inside. I was picturing Martin’s and Anthony’s and Lynette’s and Dee’s and Cecil’s faces and was contemplating throwing a left hook on their behalf. But no, I would never stoop to this guy’s level. I kept reminding him that the individuals we support are just that, Individuals, one of us. I was practically begging him to stop being such an ass. He made one more comment that I refuse to repeat. My fist balled up, and my face turned red. I was in the process of standing up and throwing down when my dad stands up and gets in this guys face and calmly, but firmly, says,

“If you ever talk about these people again you’re going to go into the category of people that we refer to as hospitalized.”

Those of you that know my dad know that he is scary when he’s upset. He is a right to life strong-man that has thrown around rolls of carpet most of his adult life. I don’t mean rolls of carpet that are room-sized. I’m talking about the rolls from the factory. The man’s hands are big balls of calloused knuckles.

He was raised up north in Wisconsin, near Chicago. Rumor has it that he was recruited by the Mafia to be a bruiser when he was a young man, and claims that he turned down the offer. I often wonder if it had anything to do with him abruptly moving from Wisconsin to New Mexico when he was a young 20-something back in the late 1960s. He has given some vague, unsatisfactory answers as to why he moved so far away, but I digress. The main point is this guy didn’t want to test him, even as my dad is now in his late 60s. To this guy’s credit, he got the point. He apologized, and my dad bought him a cup of coffee.

My dad had come through when it meant the most. Slowly, but surely, his perception had changed. And as for the jerk-o, let’s just say his understanding changed much quicker than my dads did.

I learned that day that you might not be able to reach everyone all the time, but you can use every opportunity to T.E.A.C.H., as Rosy proposed. It will make a difference, and it will hit home, eventually. If my dad can change his perception, anyone can…even the mules.

Rolling Into a New Location in the New Decade

March 4, 2020 By Melinda Olivas 1 Comment

Rolling Into a New Location in the New Decade

By: Jessica Dunn

With this new decade, we rolled right into a new office! As many of you know, our administration staff for the Adult Services moved to a new location in the 2^nd Street Plaza West in the fall of 2019. At that time, the rest of the Adult Services team, including the Nursing Department, Team Coordinators, and Community Options, stayed at the Summit office; this created a divide we were not accustomed to. Luckily, toward the end of the year, another Plaza suite opened up, and we acquired it reuniting all the team members who are now all located at 204 W. 2nd Street. We were able to move them all in one day on January 2^nd, very impressive! Everyone pulled together, and with our mighty “manpower,” we got the entire move done in one day, impressive! Thank you to everyone who chipped in.

After the dust settled and people arranged their new offices, I felt this overwhelming feeling of completeness. It felt as if the rest of our tribe had returned home from a long journey. I know the feeling was mutual from the chatter around the administration office. The reference to us all being part of the Tobosa family was more evident than ever in the way that I felt. As I write these expressions, I cannot help but smile, remembering the first few times I was able to take a short walk over to the other suite solely to say, “Good morning!”, or call out, “Are you guys good?”. It felt great to be within shouting distance again. These simple check-ins were something that took much more effort and time in the months before January.

Nursing Waiting Area
Team Coordinators & Community Options

I began wondering if other people in our organization felt the same as I did. I mean, surely I wasn’t the only one beaming with positive emotions over this; after all, it was just a simple office move from 0.9 miles away. My curiosity compelled me to find out if others felt the same way. Talking to people about their feelings and experiences since the move forced the corners of my mouth to rise involuntarily. I found myself smiling again because I was comforted that the feeling was mutual. The following are some reactions I received:

“I like it. It is more of a professional setting. It feels more like a nursing office than the other one did.”

“Moving was good because we were able to go through things and
declutter.”

“We are not away from everyone any longer, and now people know
where to find us. We are back to being more of a part of Tobosa.”

“It happened quicker than we thought. We worked together, and we got
it done.”

“Being in this building puts us closer to the administration. This is good
so that we can get a hold of them.”

“Since the move, we have a feeling of being a more cohesive unit. (Before the move, these departments felt very detached.)”

“In the end, we are all here for the same reason. It is good for us to be
together. Before the move, even just being a hallway apart felt like a
whole world apart.”

“I like being close to the Team Coordinators. There is a better rapport,
and it allows for more leniency between these departments. It is now
easier to Invite them to pow wow in the nursing department so we can
take care of stuff right away.”

So, as you can see, the overall feeling about our move was a good one. Our team is a close team that needs the support of each other. The time that we were able to share a building with Los Pasitos allowed us to build a rapport with them, and both programs were able to learn more about each other and how the other one operates. Even though there were benefits to us sharing a building between programs, a time came when it would be more beneficial for everyone for this move to happen. By the adult services departments moving to 2nd Street, we not only gained the benefits mentioned above, but it also allowed room for the children services to be able to expand and share their talents and services with more kids in our community. I am very optimistic about the growth and future of all the Tobosa programs.